It never ceases to amaze me how much people’s lives are positively affected by being listened to, really listened to. Babies to grannies and everyone in between, benefit enormously from being really listened to, and yet I find it extremely difficult to succintly define what these benefits are. As I am discovering, words just aren’t enough! Let me try to explain… I’m currently studying Autism at Strathclyde University and the module I’m working on is about non-verbal communication. A huge amount of information is conveyed through the eyes and the body language of people, not to mention the context surrounding the words. A simple phrase like, “I’m hungry”, could mean so many things depending on the situation. Permit me to give an example… a child who’s just had her lunch may walk passed a bakers shop and say to her Mum, “I’m hungry”. Given the context her Mum is more likely to interpret this as, “I would like a cake”. So in this case, the words convey very little of what is being communicated.
On returning to my problem, I find it very difficult to convey with words the benefits of being listened to. Not only that, every person is an individual and has a unique experience when being really listened to. Most people find it stress-relieving, some find it confidence-boosting, some find it clarifying, some gain a sense of self-worth and the list goes on… Yet how can people understand the benefits without something being defined? That’s fairly easy to answer…. they can come and have an appointment, however, most people need a very good reason for parting with their well earned cash and that’s why I struggle with this puzzle. Maybe I should start with what I do when I listen… that’s fairly easy to answer – I create a safe, confidential environment for people to talk in. I give space for people to say what they want to say and help them to hear what they’ve said by giving a short summary in their own words. This enables people to take hold of untapped potential within themselves and move forward in remarkable ways. Move forward with what? Well that depends on what they’ve come to talk about, everything from where to take their business to dealing with family holidays. And what are the benefits? People leave with a new sense of purpose, with a problem resolved and a way to move forward, with the sense they’ve begun a journey that will take them somewhere good, with a burden lifted from their shoulders, with a new spring in their step, with a confidence in themselves and their ability to take hold of life in a way they didn’t think they could and the list goes on….